We’ve all been there. You’ve discussed getting into this so called lifestyle with your partner. You’ve agreed on what you would or wouldn’t be willing to do. What turns you on about it and what your expectations are. Your both anxious. Excited. Nervous. Horny as fuck. But you don’t know where to begin. Depending on your comfort level, there are several ways to test the waters.


It’s free. It’s easy. It’s quick.  If you’re ready to dive in right away, it’s a handy resource. But don’t let your urge to merge cloud your true goals. If you’re looking to get your fuck on, you’ll probably be able to find someone to oblige on CL. If you’re looking for a connection that goes any deeper, not so much.

As a beginner, this may not be your best bet. For starters, your limited in your selection. It’s a “take whatever is available” scenario. Then you’ve got to discern who is real and who is full of shit. Not an easy task. And if you’re looking to meet a single female, don’t bother with CL. Unless you’re very “generous”.

Bottom line, it’s more of a one-night-stand option. It’s the virtual version of a sleazy pick-up bar at 3AM. As a first experience, probably not a wise choice.

Swingers Clubs.

These run the gamut. From cheesy and sleazy to refined and relaxed. On the plus side, you’ll have a wide variety of couples to choose from. But being a beginner, you may find your anxieties running a bit high, as more likely than not, most of the others  there are more experienced. It can be a bit intimidating.

If you go with an open mind though, it could be a positive experience. You’ll be exposed to the scene in a big way, and there’s a good possibility that you’ll meet some others who you connect with. It may be nothing more than casual conversation but you can ask questions and get some valuable insight at one of these spots.

Just choose carefully. A first time experience at the wrong venue can turn you off to the entire idea. So do the research and be sure the place you’re going to attracts the type of crowd that is right for you.

Private Parties.

If you can find your way into one of these, definitely go. It’s swing club light. More casual and relaxed. Usually free. Less pressure. More dynamic. Depending on the hosts, these can be great. Again, use your discretion and get as much info about the party and who will be attending. If the crowd isn’t a good fit for you, any experience will be chaotic and disastrous. But as with anything, go in with an open mind and realistic expectations and you could have a blast, meet some amazing people, and get a few things other than just your toes wet *Grin*

Hotel Parties

Big red flag on these. Unless these are put together by a reputable group, these can be a train-wreck! A small space full of just about anybody who is interested in attending – including single guys. Some may be better than others. But unless you’re ready to walk right into a fuck-pile of nameless strangers, this is not the way to go.

Swinger Dating Sites

To really get the best experience out of this swinging thing, these sites are the way to go. You get a plethora of people to choose from. Singles and couples. You can read a bit about them in the profiles they’ve created, and you’ll know they are real by what others who’ve met them have written.

It’s a bit of a process though, so don’t shave your balls just yet. You’ll have to set up a profile to talk yourselves up a bit. Submit some photos, or not. It’s just easier to connect with someone when you all know who you are communicating with. At the end of the day, this is all about physical connections. It’s not e-harmony. You’re hypothetically already with the person you want that intimate connection with. So as you search for some physical phun, show off what you’ve got. And be as discreet or as wide open as you wish.

You’ll also have to take the time to search through profiles to find who’s right for you. Once you’ve found some people you’d be down to get-down with, message them. Be open and honest. Tell them you’re new and wait for your inbox to blow up.

This is the best way to get the balls rolling. There are several Swinger dating sites out there. Some better than others. We’ll be featuring a different site every week on here to give you some insight as to which one is right for you. But they all have free trials and options where you can test ride the site without making a commitment or spending anything, so try them all.