When starting out, before you do anything – from meeting a couple for drinks, to heading to a gangbang, always have the boundaries discussion. Be completely open and honest about how far each of you is willing to permit the other to go.
Some couples don’t allow kissing. Seriously, we’ve had experiences where I was allowed to fuck a guy’s wife in the ass but I could not kiss her. C’est la vie. The point being, they discussed what they’re ok with before hand and were on the same page.
Whether it’s no kissing, no intercourse, or any myriad of other interactions that you aren’t cool with your significant other doing with someone other than you, you had best put it on the table now. The alternative can be a sucking, sinkhole of conflict and misery.
As you grow more comfortable in this so called lifestyle, you’ll find your boundaries expanding. But don’t loose sight in the heat of the moment. Take your time and be patient. The rewards are definitely worth the wait.