If you’re a seasoned swinger, you can skip over this post. But if you’re just starting out, there are a few things you should keep in mind when going out to meet others.

Whether you’re meeting a couple, a single, a small group, headed to a house party or a swing club, always keep your libido in check. Girls generally have better control, so guys this is mostly for you. But couples, as an overriding rule of thumb for any type of lifestyle engagement – You came as a couple, you’ll leave as a couple, anything that happens in-between is candy.

Don’t go in with the attitude that you’re going to have sex with someone else. Chances are you won’t. Or you won’t always. At least not in the beginning. Just go to enjoy the experience. Make some new friends. Watch. Have some fun with each other. And never feel obligated to do anything you aren’t comfortable with!

If you’re ever forced or coerced into participating in something you aren’t 100% down with, you’re with the wrong people or at the wrong place. It should always be organic and never forced. Don’t settle. And ladies, never take one for the team. Sorry guys. But trust me, I’m saving you hours and days of scorn.

At the end of the day, know when to say no. If you meet a couple that you’re not into, don’t worry about their feelings. Be more concerned with the aftermath of what could potentially be a horrific experience and politely say, “I don’t think we’re a match” and leave. Simple.

In a club or party environment, just lay back and take it all in until you’re ready. Don’t jump in until you feel a connection with someone. Trust me, forcing the issue can be a disaster! Everyone is there for the same reason. So, conversely, don’t be a wallflower either. Walk up to someone and say hello. The worst they could do is tell you they aren’t interested. The best that could happen… well, that’s up to you.